Maritime Legal Aid & Advocacy

I want him to starve himself. I want his parents to watch him turn into someone they can’t recognize. I want him to beg God for the pain to stop, and to never be heard—to feel what I feel every day.

** This Post is an excerpt from Whistler McGee’s Bombshell Email to the U.S. Coast Guard **

** See Full Disclaimer Below **

All of this and he got 20 days extra duty to show for it…In her victim input to District 8 Legal she told them exactly how severe the years of abuse really was. 






“I want a kind of pain for him that I could never give him. I want him to feel what I feel everyday. I don’t care about him being scorned.”

I want real pain for him. I want him to have bags under his eyes, I want him to forget what a good nights sleep feels like, I want him to starve himself until he feels like he is going to collapse when he realizes that he hasn’t eaten in days. I want him to not be able to look people in the eyes when he’s spoken to, I want a shaky voice and restless hands for him. I want him to feel scared, and anxious, and like he is being judged at all times because he is. I want him to be startled so easily by a neighbor saying hello that he feels dizzy, I want him to feel like he is being watched and followed. I want him to feel ashamed and embarrassed. I want him to feel violated. I want him to never be heard. I want him to beg to any and every god he could think of for the pain to stop. I want him to never have the answers, to never know what he did so wrong to feel this way. I want him to be afraid of everything. I want him to wear his pain and be dripping in cries for help and I want him to be shown how little anyone cares. I want him to feel alone. I want him to be alone. I want his parents to watch him turn into someone they can’t recognize. I want him to not be able to recognize himself. I want him to feel like his body is not his own. And I want him to beg for help and be turned away.

I want him to close his eyes when he presses down on the gas. I want him to cry so hard that his head pounds and his eyes feel like they are on fire. I want him to feel what I feel everyday. I wish nothing but pain, and fear, and emptiness on him. I want things for him that a judge can’t dole out.”




This member was so damaged by the failures of her command that she became physically ill to the point of vomitting and crippling panic attacks just from having to interact with senior members of her command and you decided it wasnt that bad. 




This is hardly what I think Linda Fagan had in mind when she told all you high rollers that we needed to get those sexual assault numbers down, but whatever it fucking takes right? Bury it if you have to, whatever you have to do to keep the Coast Guard happy so you can still pay the mortgage on your summer house. You sold your fucking souls for an organization that would spit on your fucking grave for much less than what you read here. Every single person who had this come across their desk plugged their ears and closed their eyes as every ounce of morality was drained from their fucking veins. Everyone at D8 legal, every one at Sector [REDACTED], every person who withheld evidence, everyone who turned a blind eye again and again until it got too big, and every person who buried it BECAUSE it got too big.

Everyone who took part. [REDACTED], [REDACTED], [REDACTED], [REDACTED], [REDACTED], [REDACTED], [REDACTED]. And everyone who stood by. [REDACTED], [REDACTED], [REDACTED]. Women with power, who I KNOW felt what that member felt at some point in their lives. The Coast guard will do it to you too. You don’t matter. You are not valued. You are not respected. You were placed in those seats because it looked good, you were just a thing they could use for situations like this. To nod and share your stories, and pass along the tissues while the big boys buried it. Something that could be forgiven had it been attributed to naivety, but it wasn’t, you knew, and regardless of the influence you had, you chose to abandon that integrity you won’t shut the fuck up about as to not step on daddy’s toes.

You were bound by fucking nothing.

Nothing was stopping you from doing the right fucking thing.

You didn’t want the smoke, so you honored a service that would bury you just as quickly.

Fuck you and fuck your service.

** The foregoing is an excerpt from a pseudonymous email sent by a U.S. Coast Guard whistleblower known as“Whistler McGee.” The email was sent on May 14, 2024 and reached a wide circulation inside and outside of the Coast Guard. MLAA has not verified any of the information or allegations contained in this email, and published the email because of its historic importance in the U.S. Coast Guard’s ongoing #MyCoastGuardToo reckoning. The names and identifying information of persons accused of misconduct in the email have been redacted. **

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