My Toxic Experience at SUNY Maritime Academy

*This account was submitted to MLAA by the victim, a graduate of SUNY Maritime Academy, who wishes to remain anonymous.*

I went to SUNY Maritime because my dream was to get a deck license and eventually become the captain of a ship. I eventually made it through Maritime, but I left that school traumatized and humiliated. I'm sharing my story because I want people to know what women go through there, and I want them to know that my story is not that unusual, and is just a tiny example of what's happening at the school. At the end of my first year I went on the SST14 training cruise. 

One day I was sitting at one of those small desks taking a Rules of the Road exam on the training ship. I had my cell phone wedged between my thighs to hold it while I took the exam. 

One of the mates who was administering the exam was one of those old captains who had come out of retirement to go on the cruise. I don't remember his name but he had a creeper ‘stache and was so old he's probably dead by now. 

He was walking up and down the rows, and when he came to me he leaned down to my ear and whispered in my ear "I wish my head was where that phone is right now." What the fuck? I went and reported it to the Deputy Commandant, a woman named Captain Hanft. 

She told me that if I didn't want negative attention from the mates on the training ship, then I shouldn't wear tight khaki pants. That's a direct quote. And she told me there was nothing she could do.

During SST15 we had a reg officer that would walk into female berthing holds on the ship without knocking and lift spank blankets with female cadets sleeping in them. I reported this to Chief Testor and the response I got for reporting this was that there was no proof, and so there was nothing the reg staff could do about it. 

This same reg officer would deliberately roam the halls listening outside students rooms and jiggle door handles to trick students into opening their doors to get them in trouble. 

These incidents of reporting things and having nothing happened were a big part of what led to me not reporting being sexually assaulted on campus.

I didn't report the assault to the school because I was absolutely terrified of being found at fault and getting in trouble. And after seeing the measures the school takes to protect their staff and the school with lawyers, anyone would be scared to come forward. 

The man who assaulted me is now an engineer with MEBA and he's floating around somewhere out there with cadets on his ship, I'm sure. Our dean of students Ms. Delgado (no longer employed) recommended I change schools and said maybe the maritime industry wasn't for me. 

Captain Hanft and Captain Borges were both women in power who really fucked me over many times. It is difficult to understand.

Eventually all of the trauma from the assault and stress from all the bullshit the school was putting me through for no reason led to me having panic attacks that were so bad I had to be hospitalized. While I was in the hospital the school never even reached out to me. On the SST17, which was my senior cruise, there was a licensed engineer aboard who was constantly making comments about my body and he would constantly try to get me to come into his room or to go out with him in port. 

He always made sexual gestures at me and made countless comments about my body. It was disgusting. In port he would come up to me and try to get me to go off places with him. He was sexually harassing me, so I reported it to Captain Borges. 

She said that because l had no proof, there was nothing she could do about it, and she suggested I stop wearing shorts and stop wearing makeup to make the harassment stop. I can go on forever about the shit that school put me through, but it eventually led me to believe that I did not have a voice and left me feeling completely helpless and at times hopeless. 

The environment at the school was so toxic that students had to start recording their encounters with regimental staff to protect themselves. Like I said earlier, I left that school seriously traumatized and I felt humiliated. I think the main problem is with the regimental staff the school hires and the amount of authority they are given. 

I would recommend that if you go to SUNY you need to know your rights as a student. Record everything with your phone and keep written accounts of everything that happens. Today I'm sailing 2nd Mate on my license, moving up in my career, and doing my thing. I'm not sure if this will help anyone or give someone courage to come forth, but I just felt the need to share. Thanks for reading.