** This anonymous U.S. Coast Guard Survivor Testimonial was originally submitted to “The Pettiest Officer of the U.S. Coast Guard” on Facebook in May of 2024 and re-published by MLAA. MLAA does not know the identity of the author and has not verified any of the claims or allegations made in this testimonial. Light formatting changes for readability, or redactions for PII may have been applied before publishing. **
I was an E-4 stationed on a now decommissioned 378. I had just advanced and an E-5 male offered to take me out to drinks to celebrate. He was new to the ship, and I thought he was just looking to make friends at this unit. I was an openly serving trans man on my cutter and had garnered a lot of respect and support from crew and command.
As we were drinking and celebrating, he started questioning me on why I “chose” to transition. Telling me that I will always be a female no matter what “mutilation” I put my body through. I finished my beer and told him I no longer wanted to discuss this, especially with alcohol involved. “I’m not gonna change your mind tonight, you’ll never change my mind [name of E-5].”
I didn’t think to say anything to anyone because I’ve dealt with enough bigots and homophobes in my life. We set sail for our 90-day patrol shortly after and I thought the conversation was behind us. He then went out of his way multiple times of the day to make sexually explicit jokes or sexually degrading comments.
During a fish call, he wiped his hand across it to make his fingers slimy and asked “same consistency right?” implying female arousal. I called him disgusting and a pig and walked away. I still didn’t report because “male locker room talk”, “be one of the guys”, I don’t know I just felt gross, but also no one would care about that, right?
We made it out to one of our port calls and I was dancing in a bar with female shipmates. He proceeded to take out a stack of dollar bills and stick them into the waistband of my jeans. Did I call him a douchebag? Absolutely. Did I also use his $6 to buy a beer to get away from that situation? Also yes. I stayed as far away from him as I could for the rest of the night. The following night he found me again in a bar and asked me if I was wearing a thong or any underwear at all. I asked him “wtf is wrong with you?” And he told me “if I wanted to dance like a stripper, I should be dressed like a stripper.” I went back to the boat that night disgusted and uncomfortable that I couldn’t enjoy my liberty without his perverted watch over me. I asked some girls on the boat if he had ever made them uncomfortable or did the same to them and they all said he was creepy but he never came on to them. I felt like a target. I was a trans man he saw as a woman, and was his challenge. His trophy to change me.
It all culminated into a night at a local bar after the patrol for the O-1’s wetting downs. I was invited by a couple officers to come with some of my friends (not a public event). I saw him enter that party clearly already intoxicated. I tried to keep space and distance from him because I just didn’t want to deal with it. As I was waiting in line for my drink, I felt a hand go down the back of my jeans, my ass get squeezed really hard and pulled out the line into him.
I was in a state of shock. I couldn’t process what happened to me. It took one of the girls with me to snap at him say “YOU CANT TOUCH HIM LIKE THAT!”
That’s what snapped me back into reality. I lost control of my temper shouting, yelling at him, trying to take on a 6’3 man against my 5’6 self. Multiple shipmates held me back, told me to calm down, and that security was on its way. It was a packed bar so it took some time for them to get to us. As we were separated into our own corners, and I was trying to get back into a good mood with the crew, I heard him shout over the crowd “if that little faggot wants to be a man, he’ll take a hit like a man.”
I saw red and went back after him. Still held back and no exchanges were made. He was kicked out and escorted out by security. My night was ruined and I eventually left to be humiliated in front of my crew and officers.
Because it happened in such a public place with multiple people seeing what happened it became an unrestricted report. I sat and interviewed with CGIS in less than 48 hours, was given an SVC, and closely connected to the on base VA.
During my CGIS interview I told them about all of the leading circumstances, of the money in the jeans, the hand down my pants, and one of the agents asked me if maybe I was dressed too provocatively and invited that. “Sir I was wearing men’s jeans from H&M and a long sleeve button down. What’s provocative about that?”
I went on for the next 18 months with no answers only a couple phone calls to the SVC on occasion. I wanted it to be considered an SA. Apparently to CG legal your butt being grabbed without consent is only considered battery. My SVC told me multiple times as I pushed for a harsher punishment than forced early retirement (he was at high year tenure) “it sounds like you’re seeking revenge”
“No LT. I’m seeking justice. I’m probably not the first person he’s done this to, but I will be sure to be the last.”
I went to my pre-court martial meeting with the CG legal team (a LT and LTJG) and they were the 9th set of prosecutors to review my case. When I asked why it has gone through so many hands without answers, I was told I have some pretty “sabotaging” wording in my docket. I pressed what that meant, and my SVC urged me not to mention that I was trans. This was shortly after the first set of tweets to ban trans servicemembers. I told everyone in that room, that I was assaulted solely on my identity. If I lost my career because I lived my truth authentically, then it was worth it to stop that kind of monster.
I went to court martial 3 weeks later via a phone call because being on the stand in front of him put me into constant panic attacks. It wasn’t until 7 minutes before I took the stand that I was told he would be cross examining in his own defense. I was shaking in the base VA’s office, wanting to vomit, run away, but I sat there gave my testimony and reminded him during his cross examination that he violated me that day. Maybe I didn’t have all the words verbatim from my interview 18 months prior, but I’ll never forget what his actions were.
After all the witnesses were called, all the evidence presented, the judge gave the ruling of a mistrial because the CGIS agents didn’t file the paperwork correctly. The lead agent was dealing with family issues and was distracted and didn’t submit the right forms or paperwork into discovery in time. While the judge told me he believed me, and believed this happened to me, it was THE UNITED STATES VS. (insert name) and because the United States missteped he had no other choice.
I will never for the life of me understand how 9 prosecutors had my case, examined it, and didn’t see that CGIS failed to do their job all because they were too scared to represent a trans service member. I knew that day that I meant nothing to the Coast Guard, and that I would not be making a career out of an organization that cares more about protecting predators and abusers over service members who are marginalized in society.