** This anonymous U.S. Coast Guard Survivor Testimonial was originally submitted to “The Pettiest Officer of the U.S. Coast Guard” on Facebook in May of 2024 and re-published by MLAA. MLAA does not know the identity of the author and has not verified any of the claims or allegations made in this testimonial. Light formatting changes for readability, or redactions for PII may have been applied before publishing. **
IT HAPPENS TO MEN TOO
I want to start off by saying I’m sorry, I am sorry to all of these members that our service and leadership have failed. I have been reading these stories with a knot in my stomach knowing that my little sister almost joined the service. At the time I would have been so proud to have her be part of what I consider to be another family, of brave men and women that serve our Country. Knowing what I know now, I am thankful she is not in this service, because I am terrified of what could have possibly happened to her.
We always take these SH and SA trainings, just trying to get that green status in CGBI. We know the procedures, we read the “Zero Tolerance Policies”, we see the SAPR’s with their faces in the bathrooms, always thinking, I know who to contact if it happens to me, but let’s be honest, I’m a man so that will never happen to me. (Little did I know, it fucking does, we just don’t fucking talk about it). It happens to us men too, and we need to speak up about it, and not just hold it in because it fucks us up and we hold it in because “that’s what men do”. I’m going to be very vague because I am pretty easy to ID if I went into specifics.
First patrol at this new unit (Second Cutter of my Career at this point, first one after BM A-School). Everything is going great, getting qualified, seeing things I have never seen nor thought I would ever see before, life couldn’t be going better for me honestly. First Port Call was Kodiak, AK, and that is when I see that the OS1 always making weird creepy jokes, is actually a creep and flirting with the TDY E-6, amongst other people there as well (OS1 is married with kids). Whatever, I have heard of this shit happen before, I’m just going to the next bar and not say shit because I am just a boot BM3 that doesn’t have a say, and he is a piece of shit that will get what he deserves one day.
Next Port Call was Dutch Harbor, AK, You know… the famous place with all of the crab fisherman who risk their lives so some can eat Alaskan King Crab (I get it, their amazing). Anyways, so we’re at the Norwegian Rat Saloon, and I drink, I drink to forget that I’m thousands of miles away from my family, I drink because I don’t want to be here, and just pass out in my hotel and wake up the next day and do it all over again. The Point is, I drank way too much, to the point where I start nodding off and falling asleep at the table. I hear a female (TDY E-6) say, “I will make sure he gets back safe and sound”. (The following is how I remember it, play by play)
_Black’s Out_
_Comes To_
I’m stumbling trying to walk while she has her arm around my waist holding me up, I look down and I see the double yellow lines on the only road in Dutch Harbor. I think, sweet I’m finally going to be able to sleep this thing off.
_Blacks Out_
_Comes To_
I am naked, on my bed in my hotel room, and she is naked on top of me, I try to say something but I’m literally frozen trying to put together what’s happening.
_Blacks Out_
_Comes To_
I wake up next morning, still naked, with her by my side. She gets up and goes to shower. I think to myself, what just happened? Did I want this to happen? Do I say something? I’m a dude, this shit doesn’t happen to dudes, what the fuck just happened to me?!
We get back underway, and my friend was like, “bro, did you hit that last night?” (Me, being naive, and ultimately embarrassed) “What do you think happened bro? Cmon now!”.
For years, I didn’t know if I had in fact gotten raped that night, or if I was just too drunk. I talked to my therapist about it and he said “You were raped.” I wanted to throw up, as these feelings I had been suppressing have been affecting me for years, I don’t know how some survivors manage to push through. It has affected me in every aspect of my life. And that is just one example of shit that has happened to me, not to mention guys flashing their dicks, openly watching porn in the lounge, and not the normal shit either, we’re talking gross shit that should not even be thought of. It’s harder to come clean when you’re a guy and say something because that’s not what we do, we bottle it up and push on through. But that shit has to stop, for good. I pray for healing for those who have been affected by these disgusting events. And to the leadership who has failed us, get what you deserve.
V/R,
A Man