Maritime Legal Aid & Advocacy

I woke up to someone having sex with me. I had no idea what was happening. Fuck the Coast Guard. Save yourself. They won’t ever save you.

** This anonymous U.S. Coast Guard Survivor Testimonial was originally submitted to “The Pettiest Officer of the U.S. Coast Guard” on Facebook in May of 2024 and re-published by MLAA. MLAA does not know the identity of the author and has not verified any of the claims or allegations made in this testimonial. Light formatting changes for readability, or redactions for PII may have been applied before publishing. **

I felt compelled to say something. I was one of the ones who didn’t tell. I thought after so many stories of telling and not getting anywhere or maybe did but didn’t feel justified.

I went TDY to a cutter and we went on port call. I drank way too much and I am to be honest don’t remember how the events happened. The petty officer/BM2 saw that I had passed out and said he would take me to his room. With all the Coasties watching, you would think they would have been like, “No. That’s not a good idea.” Two hours later, I woke up to someone having sex with me. I had no idea what was happening. Then I heard a friend knocking on a door asking for me. I jumped off the bed and ran out the door. At the moment, I knew it was my fault because why else. I let myself drink so much I didn’t know what I was doing. Does that give a man a right to have sex with an unconscious woman? Who couldn’t consent? But I was TDY to a boat and didn’t want to start shit.

Everyday of my life I regret not saying something. But I can tell you what I thought at the moment. My career would be tarnished and I was wasted, so who would they believe? This happened over 10 years ago. I didn’t even tell my husband until 5 years later. Because who wants to marry someone that let someone take advantage? For those words to even be spoken. How do we make better decisions? How do we confide in our command to promise justice to be served? We don’t. You know why? Because we are terrified of getting in trouble first. I literally didn’t even realize it was rape until I confided in a friend.

I have three more years until retirement and I think about this more than I have ever thought about anything. I want more members to feel compelled to tell and talk and say something because fuck the Coast Guard. Save yourself. They won’t ever save you.

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