*This account was submitted to MLAA by Craig Failla, a former student at the U.S. Merchant Marine Academy.*
Hello, I recently found your organization after reading a story online about a young female cadet who was sexually harassed at sea. Honestly, I really thought I was alone for all these years until I found your website. I too have a similar story dating back to the summer/fall of 1991. What is unique about my story is that I was not a female cadet, but a male, and I have stayed silent for over 30 years about my experience due to embarrassment and shame.
In the summer of 1991 I boarded the M/V Galveston Bay which was a P&O flagged vessel operated by Sea Land. My 1st month at sea was obviously hectic and overwhelming for a 19 year old with absolutely no maritime experience outside of what I was taught at the Academy. I was a quick learner and earned top evaluation scores from my Captain and Chief Mate. I was also an excellent cadet during my 1st year at the U.S. Merchant Marine Academy and received no demerits outside of any company demerits we may have earned. Additionally my GPA was a 2.64 while the freshman class average was a 1.6. I loved the academy, classmates and the experience I received during that 1st year. Academically and physically it was challenging but I was up to the challenge and was determined to succeed and eventually be a Naval Officer like my older brother.
My ship was on a 28 day rotation from Elizabeth NJ to England, France, Germany & Rotterdam. At the end of my 1st trip is when my experience turned into a nightmare. The Chief Mate was relieved by a new chief mate. He was a Kings Pointer with about 20 years sailing experience. His name was Barry. Starting on day one, I was awoken at about 03:00 to my phone ringing and the Chief Mate telling me to come to the bridge to “take stars.” I immediately got dressed, grabbed my sextant and made my way to the bridge to get a fix on our position as he requested. This became a nightly routine which would last until sunrise and then my day would begin doing various duties on the ship.
Most days I would only get 1-2 hours of sleep, but I can recall multiple times where I was up for more than 48 hours straight and barely able to function. Sleep deprivation was certainly a safety concern but I didn’t complain and my work ethic would not allow me to quit. What I was unaware of was this was a strategy to wear me down physically to allow him to make deals with me to get some breaks or allow me a full night sleep.
Initially it wasn’t transparent. First he invited me to his room to show me his rowing machine and told me if I wanted to use it just let him know. While we were in his room he showed me how the machine worked and then asked if I could rub his shoulder. I politely told him, “no sir”. He then told me he would rub my back if I wanted, which again I said, “no, thank you sir.” I told him I had to get back to work and then exited his room.
The sexual advances and touching continued for the next two months. He would come up behind me when I was sitting in a chair and touch my shoulders and frequently make comments about how perfect my body was, which I found very disturbing. My roommate was an engine cadet and frequently was gone at night. One evening while I was sleeping alone in my room I had an uneasy feeling, and when I opened my eyes the Chief Mate was standing over me. I jumped out of my bunk and asked what’s going on. He said it was a room inspection.
Day by day it got worse, and the more I pushed back, the worse he would make my life. It became so bad that I started to make a plan to kill him and throw his body overboard without getting caught. I had the entire thing worked out other than having the guts to actually see it through. I was a 19 year old kid with his whole life ahead of him, and planning a murder was not what I signed up for. In letters I pleaded with my parents that I wanted to quit, but I was embarrassed to discuss the details and I knew no one would believe me. Sexual harassment of a man is hardly spoken of today, and certainly not in 1991.
My parents, being proud parents of a son at a military academy, refused to listen to me and told me quitting would not be an option. They kept blaming this on me being homesick and wanting to see my girlfriend and the only people I counted on for support were not there when I needed them. So, I put up with this until the end of my time on that ship, which included nearly 2 full months of daily harassment.
Ultimately, after my 3rd rotation I was scheduled to get off and join a new ship. But after that experience I could no longer endure another day at sea and decided I would be quitting, no matter what the consequences would be with my family. I met Captain Finley and my parents aboard the vessel and told everyone at that point I would be quitting. They were all extremely shocked and encouraged me to stay due to my high scores and recommendation from the Captain. At no time did anyone ever ask about my safety or mental health.
For nearly two years after that my parents barely spoke a word to me and I had to work and pay my way to college on my own. Despite not being able to continue my education at Kings Point, I’ve had a very successful career and a wonderful family. But the experience still haunts me and I feel that I missed out on so many things that I wanted to do if I had been able to stay at the academy.
I know 99% of the cadets probably have wonderful experiences during Sea Year and go on to graduate and have great careers. I’ve kept in touch with several of my classmates and ponder what would have been different if I had done a different split or had a roommate that I knew better to help me. There are so many “what if’s.”
But for those 1% that have experiences like mine or worse, what recourse do we have? Our whole lives have forever been changed and the school we counted on keeping us safe only cared about kickbacks from the shipping companies and keeping things quiet.
I would love to help in any way I can to change the system and to permanently eliminate the Sea Year program from Kings Point. There are plenty of maritime academies that don’t send their best and brightest across the world by themselves to get properly trained. I believe this archaic and unsafe method should be eliminated once and for all.
I give full consent to share my story and you can use my name if you see fit as I no longer choose to stay quiet. It feels like a giant weight has been lifted now that I’ve put some of my experience on paper. Thank you.
—Craig Failla
5 Comments
Well done
Thanks for speaking up.
Thanks for your story. Definitely hard to come forward. I was referred to a Tips ap that the detectives use in the coast guard. They truly care. Something you might think about. Its called CGIS Tips at the app store.
Sam
My name is scott ayar and my passion, my obsession, my life is about ships. I attended Great Lakes maritime academy, in traverse City Michigan, in the fall of 2001.
Take care and thank you for sharing.
Sincerely
Scott Ayar
I was raped (sodomized) aboard the USS Detroit (AOE-4) on Dec/18/2000 my 21st birthday) as retribution for speaking out with a jag officer aboard the USS enterprise CVN-65 regarding allegations that U.S. enlisted personnel who were not US citizens were being prevented from making rank to retain them on labor intensive deck departments. (This was before the US Navy made logistic vessels part of the US merchant marine fleet or USNS bc of its low retention rates. The ship was also put on NA y times as the most unsafe ship of the entire Atlantic fleet! I believe the title was “why you don’t want to serve aboard this ship” the article never mentioned the sexual assaults of both male and females serving aboard or the abuse of the sailors who were not us citizens).
I originally wanted to go to the US Coast Guard but I was blatantly told by the recruiter that they didn’t accept non U.S. residents; so I applied for the Navy instead as a rated seaman for the rate/MOS of Ocean System Technician in the hopes that this would help speed up my family’s US naturalization process.
While I was in bootcamp the rate was closed off and instead of offering me a different choice they made me an undesignated seaman instead. I graduated from bootcamp and went to A school and graduated top of my class from a fairly easy program but instead of allowing me to choose a rate/MOS of my choice (Dental technician) I was simply made an E2 seaman apprentice and sent on my way.
Once I arrived on my command, I very quickly distinguished myself as a hard worker and was on a fast track through E3 by becoming qualified on all the firefighting requirements and earning my SWAS for my ship. Then In 1998 I took my E4 exam for Quartermaster and after it was announced that I had made the E4 rank over the intercom, they took me down stairs and told me that I couldn’t do that rank bc I wasn’t a US citizen.
I had in fact wanted to try out for dental tech but I was told that it too required security clearance and that my department couldn’t afford to let me go! Then they told me to forget about it and just become a boatswain mate (BT) instead but I dreaded the job as I found its daily duties intellectually lobotomizing.
In the spring 1999, I took the HT3 test for hull technician which was part of engineering department and again I made rank and yet again they took it away. So in the fall of 1999 I took the HM3 test for hospital man and again I made rank and yet again I was told to forget about it bc I wasn’t a US citizen; even though this position didn’t required security clearance as I checked.
The spring of 2000 came and myself along with a few other non US legal residents stuck in the same precarious situation decided to take the test yet again just for the giggles of it as we knew they would never let us make rank; unless we went for boatswain mate, so they could keep us in their respective departments.
This time around my vessel had just returned from a Persian Gulf Cruise and members of the air wing which I had befriended bc I worked on the hangar deck of my ship suggested that I go for Aviation Mechanic or AM3; which is a rate that doesn’t require security clearance either.
Once my ship pulled in to Norfolk later that year, I head over to the USS Enterprise (CVN-65) and did all my prerequisites to be eligible to take the AM petty officer third class examination. While I was aboard this vessel, inquiries were made as to why I had not made rank yet and when I told them what was happening aboard my command on the deck departments; they insisted that I speak with a jag officer aboard the carrier. These folks promised me that it would never get back to my command and that they would investigate my allegations and I thought nothing of it afterwards thinking that I had done the right thing by speaking up.
I took my test that Spring of 2000 and made rank yet again! This time I was told that the position was not attainable bc they didn’t offer it on my command and that they couldn’t afford to let me go; but that if I wanted the position, that I would have to extend my contract to six years with my command.
Course I knew it was a scheme to keep me in a state of indentured servitude and this shortly after this, one of the other non US citizens aboard the ship simply began refusing to work calling these actions illegal and indicative of slavery.
Fearing that we would speak up; they gave us these lead seamanship positions just to shut us off as if they were making us a favor but it was already too late as I had already spoken with a jag officer. So a few of the non US citizens began taking the SARS (search & rescue swimmer) physical examination just for the fun of it; knowingly full well that they would never allow us to go to SAR school anyways even though none of the other sailors were stepping up to fill the quota.
It is around this time that I finally gave up on my pursuit to be something in the armed forces and began studying for my SAT/ACT for university entrance in the fall of 2001 at University of Texas as I was officially a “short timer” (6 month left on enlistment).
On December 18 of 2,000 I was taken out by a few shipmates to celebrate my 21st birthday but when I woke the following morning; I felt a sharp pain coming from my back and rear as if someone had kicked me and when I looked on, I was covered in bloody sheets.
I had to pull out the wooden stick (not a smooth surface) out of my anal cavity by myself without making any noise to alert everyone else in the sleeping berthing of what had transpired. Unfortunately, they already knew what had occurred and why it had happened; and as I made my way to the head (restroom) to clean up I had to endure them calling me derogatory labels such as “rat”, “narc” or “dead man walking” while landing repeated fist blows to my body.
When I was in the shower I could hear them outside threatening me to keep my mouth shut or they would throw me over the side of the ship at night during fantail watch (the rear of the ship) Either out at sea tied to an anchor chain or in port. The petty officers and Chief then forced me to take painkillers (Motrin) and sent me back to work that entire day while they kept an annoyingly close eye on me.
The females on my department were able to at first sneak crushed Motrin into my drink at and later stronger antibiotics they had left over from “ previous personal incidents” (you know what that means) to help with the infection. I was never allowed to see the doctor and for a while I thought I would die from a septic infection as I had blood on my stool for weeks to come.
They also dropped my personal evaluations so low that I was deemed a troubled sailor and given automatic extra duty (after dinner) every evening after work. I was not allowed off the ship for months and they threaten me with dishonorable discharge if I spoke out about it to anyone which usually came with the threat that If I got kick out the military with a dishonorable discharge that then US government would deport my family and I from the country.
Word got around the vessel and became a laughing manner while the deck departments instituted “booty watch” on all the sleeping berthings aboard the deck department (three in all for a few weeks. The other non us citizens on these departments never spoke up again out of order nor took any more test and all my shipmates continue to label me a narc while the senior enlisted personnel reminded me repeatedly that what transpired was my fault.
I became suicidal in March of 2001 and only the females kept me going till June 1st when I was able to use my accumulated vacation and depart the armed forces with my life intact. 23 Years later and countless psychiatrists, when people ask me what did I do the first 4 years after high school; I told them I went to Hollywood to try to be an actor! I have lied to myself all these years and yet; I still have blood on my stool sometimes simply bc I stood up to an injustice.
When I read these other comments I can concur with the pattern of male behavior across the military!
From the moment that a woman comes aboard a military vessel for the first time; they are immediately set upon the men of the ship and referred to as “fresh meat”. It doesn’t matter to these men if they themselves are married! It doesn’t matter if a woman is single or in a relationship! As I’ve read before in one story! “men get lonely out at sea” and it is true! Men become “obsessed” and “infatuated” with women in an unhealthy way and dangerous way. Women cannot workout in shorts or other revealing clothes for fear of being harassed or sexually assaulted. Putting a single female aboard one ship filled with men is completely irresponsible.
The pattern of behavior is always the same:
Women are either “bitches”’or “hoes”! Bitches if they won’t date anyone on board or hoes if they happens to date someone. What is worse are the verbal sexual suggestions that occur constantly! Men just speak about vile sexual topics in front of females in a manner that it would be considered sexual harassment in a civilian