This anonymous submission was originally posted as a public comment to the account submitted by Mishipman-X. The author claims to be a cadet, but MLAA does not know the author’s identity.
I’ve always felt like all the sexual comments and attempts I got onboard was all my fault. Yes, I wore tops that showed my shoulders sometimes because it was hot- sue me. I wore a dress when I signed off- how scandalous!
A lot of women at sea have this pressure to “fit in” because we are already hated before we even speak. So, if we end up on their good sides, they won’t hurt us right? If we show them we can be “one of the guys “ we’ll be accepted, right? Wrong. It doesn’t matter what you wear, say or do. You can never fully avoid it.
I didn’t speak up because I felt like the blame would go towards me. Why did I wear that? Why was I “friendly”? Why did you try to “fit in”? Well, you would think that working with a bunch of married old men with kids would be safe right? Like, why would they even try anything? Don’t they already have a partner and children to worry about?
Why do us women, have to assume the worst and just stay silent? Even towards men that are husbands and fathers at work!!! Why does the first time cadet who is still a young girl expected to act more maturely than them?!
All I can say is this: the men working at sea are more dramatic than high school girls. And I wish I could’ve seen this before making such a huge decision.